Academy Awards

POWDER YOUR NOSE - Hollywood fawns when pretty women turn themselves ugly on screen: Nicole Kidman in The Hours, Charlize Theron in Monster, and Marion Cotillard in La Vie En Rose. Nothing placates the Academy more than prosthetic noses, hour-long make-up sessions with aging silicone and latex, and bald caps, mustn’t forget bald caps.

Lately the same is true for men, at least if you believe the speculation surrounding Heath Ledger’s performance in The Dark Night. But every actor knows that if you want Oscar gold, you’ve got to don a mustache, or heavy glasses, or a wig, and more importantly tons of make-up. Your chances increase if you happen to star in a literary adaptation – hopefully one written by some highly respectable former New York Times bestselling author (Mystic River, The Last King of Scotland, There Will Be Blood was roughly based on Upton Sinclair’s Oil).

On December 25, Brad Pitt (the bran half of brangelina) will juggle both make-up AND literature in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – an adaptation of an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story of the same name. In the film, as in the story, Benjamin Button ages in reverse. He goes from feeble old fart to handsome, virile, motorcycle-riding ladies man (If only!). This marks Pitt’s 3rd project with director David Fincher. Reviewers have started peppering the O word, and with Pitt playing alongside two Academy Award winners (Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton) there’s a good chance the Oscar luck may rub off on him – as long as it doesn’t smear his foundation, of course.