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Stefani! Girl, You Crazy!

March 11, 2010 in Art, Icons, Music, books by TPreston | No comments

gaga1 LADYGAGA_Cover

Right now many of you are probably wetting yourself in anticipation for tonight’s long awaited premier of Lady Gaga and Beyonce’s “Telephone” video, (not to be confused with their other collaboration “Videophone”).  If you’re a super fan you have already had an exciting week with the release of the next great American classic “Lady Gaga: Behind The Fame” by Emily Herbert. Yes, after only a few short years of public awareness and on the cusp of her 24th birthday, Lady Gaga born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta already has a tell all biography.

Come here, rude boy. Yes, you.

February 25, 2010 in Behavior by TPreston | 9 comments

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While some websites feel the need to categorize us into outdated and trite groupings, it is our feeling here that all gay men fall into two sects—those who are gentlemen and those who have no manners. Lots of magazines spend time telling people that the way to being a gentlemen is through $300 shoes, six-pack abs, and vacations in far off locations, when the truth is it all comes down to how you behave.

Prisoners of War | ‘Streamers’ (DVD)

January 28, 2010 in Film by TPreston | No comments

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REVIEW | Just released for the first time ever on DVD, Robert Altman’s 1983 military drama “Streamers” was recently sent our way. The film, an adaptation of the play by David Rabe, while noteworthy in its own right, seems even more relevant now with last night’s promise from our President to finally work towards doing away with the disaster that is “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Our Gal Kathy | ‘She’ll Cut a Bitch’ (DVD)

January 22, 2010 in Film, Performance by TPreston | No comments

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Whether you love her or hate her, you have to appreciate Kathy Griffin. Like so many before her, (Cher, Madonna, Margaret Cho) she has latched onto the gay community with the earnest hope that her time, money, and loud voice will help us on the road to “equality.” It would be just plain rude to ignore her completely, being the gentlemen that we are. That being said her newly released DVD of her Bravo special “She’ll Cut a Bitch” is just funny.

What ever happened to Brandy?
Just ask Timbaland in ‘Shockvalue II’

December 23, 2009 in Music by TPreston | 10 comments

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For many the release of Timbaland’s “Shock Value II” came and went without a second thought. Which is a shame because the man has brought us some great music over the years. Where would we be without Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River,” Missy Elliot’s “The Rain,” and our dearly departed Aaliyah? I mean, airbrushed t-shirts haven’t been the same since.

Pay close attention to Tim Burton’s socks

December 21, 2009 in Art by TPreston | 1 comment

TimBurton_Socks_Stripes

…because they may explain everything you need to know about Tim Burton the artist. Tim Burton the man is as
fascinating as the characters he creates–if not more. In this interview for the MoMA exhibit “Tim Burton” on display until 2010, we learn a few insights into his genius. TPreston reviewed the MoMA exhibit last month. Below the fold, “Clerks” director, Kevin Smith, talks shit about talking shit about Burton. Kind of.

Augusten Burroughs’ XXXmas Spectacular

December 11, 2009 in Literature by TPreston | No comments

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas (Hardcover)

BOOK REVIEW | Whether you celebrate Christmas with your family in some god-awful suburb or spend it holed up in your tiny Harlem apartment trying desperately not to catch a glimpse of “A Christmas Story” (believe me, I know) the holidays are unavoidable. We all probably have one or two Christmas tales fraught with humor and tragedy. Just last year I watched my mother fall into the Christmas tree after downing several bottles of champagne with my friends and me. The next morning, she couldn’t join my father in taking me to the airport. She was busy throwing up. Never one to avoid basking in his own family dysfunction, Augusten Burroughs has released his own collection of homo-biographical Christmas themed stories, “You Better Not Cry,” just in time for the forced December gift exchange.

Tim Burton’s Crazy Spills Out @ the MoMA

November 21, 2009 in Art, Film by TPreston | 2 comments

…and we love it.

Tuesday morning the MoMA unveiled to an eager international press its highly anticipated Tim Burton exhibition.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory animatronic, 2005

Years in the making, MoMA staff were given essentially free rein into Tim Burton’s home (Burton is a dedicated archivist of his own work), in order to compile pieces for the show. They were also given broad access to the Disney archives. The Walt Disney Company, as we know, has been largely involved in Burton’s work from the start.

The exhibit houses well over 700 individual pieces, comprised of Polaroids, sketches, paintings, video, and sculpture. While the most recognizable are images related to his 14 feature films, there are also works on display from his two years at the California Institute of the Arts (also founded by Disney) and his years as an animator for Disney. If that weren’t enough, Burton was also commissioned to create seven new sculpture/installation pieces specifically for the exhibit.

Whatever you may think of Tim Burton’s films, the works on display are truly remarkable. Very few living artists are willing to exposure the inner workings of both their professional and private lives. Arranged loosely in chronological order, it is fascinating to see the hatchlings of what have become the film-maker’s central themes and style. In the 1980 sketch Untitled (Trick or Treat), depicting a man with garden shears for hands and the caption “The Gardener: Replaces Missing Hand with Various Garden Utensils”, we find what is most likely the birth of “Edward Scissorhands.” Sketches of toys that harbor hidden weapons spawn what will eventually be the demented toys from a “Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas.” From the earliest doodlings to his most recent creations, the images are purely Burtonesque.

The exhibit also serves as a walk down memory lane for those who follow Burton’s cinematic progress–from “Beetlejuice” to “Sweeney Todd.” Viewers can see side-by-side sketches of costumes from “Batman Returns” — including Catwoman and the Penguin — only to realize that what was put on paper was recreated perfectly in the physical. Set sketches for “Planet of the Apes” make one wonder why a film that was commercially successful received such critical reproach.

To Be Smart, Stunning and Slutty:
‘Sordid Truths’ by Aiden Shaw

November 7, 2009 in Literature by TPreston | 4 comments

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MEMOIR | Hopefully you know who Aiden Shaw is by the “Sex and the City” reference alone. However, in case you are too young or too prude to know, Mr. Shaw was one of the highest, if not the highest paid gay porn star in history.

British born, he made his way through the California porn industry with his rugged good looks and one of the largest dicks in the industry. Today, retired and HIV positive, Shaw has turned his attention to other pursuits. To date he has written 3 novels, 2 biographies, (one of which became a best-seller), 2 books of poetry, produced and written 2 albums, and managed to get a masters in Creative and Life Writing.

‘NINE’ doesn’t add up

October 30, 2009 in Film by TPreston | 7 comments

The Women of

Photo: Annie Leibovitz for Vogue.

STAR POWER | What do you get when you combine one Tony award-winning musical (based on one of history’s most influential film directors), starring seven A-list female stars and one of the greatest male leading actors of the past twenty years? Greatness — you would assume, right? Well, you would be wrong.

Monday night, HN was treated to a preview screening of the film adaptation of the 1982 Tony award-winning Best Musical, “Nine.” Both the film and the musical are treatments of Federico Fellini’s autobiographical and seminal film “8 ½,” which tells the tale of a fictional director, Guido Contini — a stand in for Fellini himself. In the film Contini finds himself creatively blocked, suffering a mid-life crisis, mooning over the great loves of his life. Directed by Rob Marshall, of “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “Chicago” fame, the movie features a ridiculous wealth top Hollywood talent consisting of (insert drum roll please):

  • Daniel Day-Lewis (2-time Academy Award winner, “There Will Be Blood”)
  • Judy Dench (Academy Award winner, “Shakespeare in Love”)
  • Kate Hudson (Golden Globe winner, “Almost Famous”)
  • Penelope Cruz (Academy Award winner, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)
  • Marion Cotillaird (Academy Award winner, “La Vie En Rose”)
  • Sophia Loren (Academy Award winner, “La ciociara”)
  • Nicole Kidman (Academy Award winner, “The Hours”)
  • Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson (Grammy nominated performer)

Before the criticism, lets discuss the good. All the women in the film killed it (Yes, even Fergie). The audience literally cheered when Cruz as Cotini’s mistress, finished her “Call from the Vatican” number. It should come as no surprise that Cruz can sing — she’s belted out songs in many of her films including Belle Époque (one of her first films), and “La niña de tus ojos” — for which she won a Goya Award. Kate Hudson plays her best character since “Almost Famous” — a swinging sixties “Vogue” writer. But most of all, and again no surprise, Ms. Cotillliard as the wife of Contini, proved once again that she has no intention of being a one-hit-Oscar-wonder never to be seen again. With such abundant star power, what went wrong?

Jay-Z | Blueprint 3

September 16, 2009 in Music by TPreston | 1 comment

The Reign of Hov Continues | Friday, the third installment of Jay-Z’s Blueprint series dropped, proving once again that he is one of the last great MCs still creating relevant music.

With most of the early nineties rappers either dead, in jail, religious, or gone the way of Diddy, Jay-Z has been left to create and define good hip-hop.

Like The Blueprint 1 and 2, which brought us such classics as “Girls, Girls, Girls” and “Bonnie and Clyde”, the new album brings a new bevy of for-sure hits. A veritable tribute to New York City, it has already spawned two hits, the first being “ D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)” where Jay dogs out all those out there who use the popular sound correction program to keep themselves in tune. The second, “Run this Town” features both Kanye West and Rhianna, two heavy hitters in their own right, in a video that is reminiscent of  the Mad Max inspired “California Love” video from the days of Tu Pac. It is by far the most radio friendly hit on the album, already in heavy rotation on your local Hot 97 station.

By far, though, the greatest track on the album is “Empire State of Mind”  featuring Alicia Keys, which Jay-Z recently performed as the closing number of the 2009 VMAs. A love song to the city that made him famous, he gives shout outs to NYC staples like Deniro, the World Trade towers and even Ms. Wintour herself, “Now you’re in style, Anna Wintour gets cold in Vogue”. Combined with the powerful wailings of Miss Keys, the song makes you want to wave your hands high and get your lighters up.

No Jay-Z album would be complete without a host of guest stars, from the well-known to the up-and-coming. You’ve got your familiar regulars like Pharell, Swizz Beatz, and two songs with the talented yet egomaniacal Kanye West, as well as songs with Kid Cudi, Luke Steele, and Hip-Hop’s current new golden boy, Degrassi alum, Drake. The result is an album that varies and spans the sounds of hip-hop, while creating new steps forward for the genre.

It is a good thing that retirement didn’t suit Jay-Z. Sure to be on the list of best albums of the year, “The Blueprint 3″ is a must for all those who pride themselves on being both music aficionados and culturally relevant.

L.C. ‘Candy’ Possibly Delicious? | Review

August 27, 2009 in Literature, Uncategorized by TPreston | No comments

LC IN WONDERLAND // While the mainstream media covered Lauren Conrad’s (aka LC from the Hills) ‘LA Candy’ the moment it was released, it took Homo-Neurotic a bit longer to stomach the idea of reading it — and even longer to get through the first twelve of forty-five chapters.

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However, once you reach Chapter 13, ‘L.A. Candy’ grows into pure, unadulterated, trash gold. A girl on a reality TV show writes about a girl on a reality TV show! How one can begin to wrap one’s brain around this concept is beyond me.

Much like LC’s show “The Hills” itself, the book begins with entitled, fussy rich girls chatting about boys while they scout out new watering holes. The lead character Jane and her BFF Scarlet move to LA together to start a new life, a thinly veiled representation of Lauren and Heidi Montag (the now super-fame whoring slut extraordinaire of Spidey notoriety).

The story drags as Lauren gets an internship with a Nazi PR woman (*cough* ‘Teen Vogue’ *cough*) and spends close to 100 pages documenting what they’re wearing while on bad dates or while at glitzy LA hotspots: “She had chosen a peach top with ruffles down the center, tucked into a red, high-waisted chiffon skirt that ended just above her knees.” It’s really thought provoking stuff and probably the only contribution from Lauren herself who wrote the novel with “collaborator” Nancy Ohlin.

But just as one begins to suspect that millions of trees were wasted to produce this most trivial, contrived storyline, the book takes a 90-degree turn for the better.

Fondle: Homo Pizza Parlor Takeover

August 20, 2009 in Nightlife by TPreston | 4 comments

PIZZA POLE DANCE? // As you may know, we visited Brooklyn’s newest gay-spot, “Fondle,” at South Brooklyn Pizza. We’re sorry to report that it was whack — but only a little bit. Whackish maybe?

Photo via bestgaynewyork.com

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Fondle is literally a pizza parlor which is then attached to a restaurant with a counter-wrapped brick oven — so you can watch them make the pizzas from the bar. The whole place was reminiscent of 1950’s Italian Mafia chic with big secret booths and candlelight OR, just plain-old “Lady and the Tramp.”  All 6 of the “patrons” were, lets say, not our type. There were drink specials which consisted of “Fondletinis,” “Apple Martini Cosmos” and 4-dollar Peronis. (No clue what was on tap. Beer is for fat people?) The bartender, it must be noted, was very cute.

The music, courtesy of an iPod, consisted mainly of an hour-long Whitney Houston medley, followed by silence. Oddly enough, right smack in the middle of the restaurant there was a stripper pole. Since you can’t order pizza by the slice, you must exit the bar and go to the actual pizza-only part of the place. But, you can bring slices back to compliment your drinks at the bar. Otherwise the menu offered an expensivish dinner fare of fancy Italian food. Oh and cash only. Boo.

However, at about midnight — something strange happened — a go-go dancer showed up (he was hot in a Long Island kind of way) and shortly after that the crowd doubled and the music started bumping. Also the bus boy may or may not have been retarded.

Despite all that, Fondle is an interesting space– tiny, but there are lots of booths in back and plenty of counter space with stools. Think smaller than Eastern Bloc, but with way more seating. The place is so deep in Carroll Gardens, noise doesn’t seem to be a problem. Drinks in general were cheap and the space is perfect for intimate dimly lit flirtations. The random appearances from hot Italian guys connected with the restaurant didn’t hurt either.

I propose a homo-neurotic takeover. We invite everyone we know and just make a party happen there next week — and then never go back again. What do you say gents?

THE FAT // According to PageSix, and then confirmed by MetroMix, Fondle @ South Brooklyn Pizza was started in February ‘09 by Bastard Life Editor-in-Chief, Neal Boulton — whom we wrote about back in December ‘08.

South Brooklyn Pizza, The Gay Narnia of BK

August 6, 2009 in Nightlife by TPreston | 1 comment

Pepperoni or Sausage?

Pepperoni or Sausage?

MYSTIC PIZZA // Several months ago it was brought to our attention that a small pizzeria in Brooklyn was hosting a gay night every Monday. South Brooklyn Pizza, previously closed on Mondays, allegedly hosts a weekly gay party called Fondle with half-naked go-go boys, a disco ball, drinks, the works. Being as we are terribly busy people here at HN, we never got a chance to experience Gay Pizza Night for ourselves, and Fondle faded from our memory like so many other gay one-offs at whack locations in other boroughs.

 

However, this past Monday, feeling bored and digging through old emails we found the link to the original article from the nytimes.com and were inspired to rally the troops.

Quickly, we bullied a friend into calling the pizzeria to inquire about Fondle. He got back to us shortly thereafter reporting that a Spanish-speaking man had answered the phone, to whom our friend responded to by immediately hanging up the phone.

Determined, we had yet another friend call, who incidentally also hung up on this poor, anonymous, non-English speaking pizza man.

He’s was probably very sad that two fey sounding men kept calling and hanging up on him. Needless, we never made it to Fondle and still don’t know if it exists — it’s kind of like the gay Narnia of Brooklyn. Once you go looking for it, the gay pizza is lost forever. Which is okay, seeing as we’re lactose intolerant.

Gents, if you have information about this magical, pizza, go-go land — or if feel you compelled to call (and not hanging up on) South Brooklyn Pizza, let us know immediately and the next slice is on us — dollar bills and sweaty thighs not included.

Nick Burd | ‘The Vast Fields of Ordinary’

August 3, 2009 in Literature by TPreston | 3 comments

TEEN NOVELTY // At homo-neurotic we don’t really fall into the target audience for young adult novels anymore. Despite that, it has not stopped us from bringing to your attention Nick Burd’s debut novel ‘The Vast Fields of Ordinary.’ While not the first to replace the love starved heroine of the genre with a homosexual on the verge of manhood, it certainly is a work worth taking notice of. [Full disclosure: Burd frequently writes for HN.]

vastfieldsofordinary2009Dade Hamilton, our reluctant hero, is trapped in that magical last summer after graduating high school, before escaping to the literary halls of college. Not quite a boy, not quite a man. Between fighting parents, a part-time job at a grocery store, and being a social pariah, Dade represents a large part of the life that current gay teens live, along with stirring up similar memories in many of us grown gentlemen.

Summer starts with Dade mooning over his “straight” fuck buddy Pablo. Yet a fateful run in with gay drug dealer, Alex Kincaid, and a new lesbian neighbor Lucy, soon sets Dade’s last truly free summer alight. Add in the mysterious disappearance of a local child and a bit of tragedy and the book truly encompasses the young adult genre, while still maintaining a completely original voice.

Burd’s quality of writing, which surpasses its genre’s peers, is truly noteworthy. Lacking the typical “dear diary” teen angst bullshit, Vast Fields represents the teen I remember: too smart for my own good, yet not a complete jerk. Burd should also be commended for not writing a tragic cliché after school coming out special and for writing a story where the character just happens to be gay. Filled with some amazing one liners (“His room smells like a rap video”) and a host of made-up bands that sound so cool (the Vas Deferens — a reference to the male anatomy), you find yourself feeling out of the loop (Is that band I should know about?), Vast Fields of Ordinary is not only a great summer read, but an overall entertaining and beautifully observed coming of age story.

re⋅view | An Epic ‘Harry Potter’ FAIL?

July 15, 2009 in Film by TPreston | 1 comment

re⋅view // For us gay nerds out there, our most recent wet dream became reality with the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Wednesday night at midnight.

Too Much Angst, Not Enough Closure?

Too Much Angst, Not Enough Closure?

Overall the film was visually stunning: an exciting spectacle of camera work and special effects. The first hour and a half remained true to the story, while still lending a bit of necessary creative license to the director and screenwriter. The second half, however was a miserable FAIL. Epically. The overdone love-ridden teen angst and lackluster ending of what was a fabulous book, was nothing short of criminal.

They fucked up the story so bad, the gaping plot holes so big, its unsure how they could possibly continue on to the next two films.

Helena Bonham Carter killed it, as per usual, as Bellatrix Lastrange. Jim Broadbent was dead on as Professor Slughorn, and all of the kids have really stepped up their acting game. Poor Dame Maggie Smith, on the other hand, is looking old. In fact, I’m pretty sure shes dead, and they were just propping up her body, Weekend at Bernie’s style.

‘College Boys Live!’ isn’t porn, right?

June 11, 2009 in Film by TPreston | 7 comments

NewFest Review // NSFW // College Boys Live!, screened late night Monday at New Fest, drew a crowd most likely due to the salacious title, expecting a film full of cock shots and gay-4-pay frat dudes wrestling in jello.

Screengrabs of CBL

Screengrabs of CBL

Boy were they surprised.

The documentary by George O’Donnell, dove into the lives of the founder, stars and members of the NSFW website, College Boys Live. A “voyeur” site, as described by founder Zac Adams, the site gives paying members 24/7 access to webcams located in every corner and crevice of a twink-filled house in the suburbs of Florida. The boys, who are hand picked by Adams and his husband/co-manager Jonathan, are signed to a 6 month contract, where in return for rent and food they must chat with members for 2 hours, 5 days a week, and hold down jobs or go to school. Additionally the boys must also spend the last 30 minutes of every chat session naked, yet Adams insists the site is NOT a porn site. Mmmmhmm.

The film is truly a train wreck, in the best possible way. Part Jerry Springer, part Real World, part Queer as Folk, we watch the boys of College Boys Live (or CBL as they refer to it) battle not only the local homeowners society who are trying to shut them down, but also each other, literally, with fists.

NewFest Review: Rivers Wash Over Me

June 9, 2009 in Film by TPreston | 6 comments

NewFest’s centerpiece film ‘Rivers Wash Over Me,’ from writer/director John G. Young was screened Saturday night to an almost packed theater.

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Illustration: Master WH

‘Rivers’ is Young’s third film following his critically acclaimed Parallel Sons. Set in Alabama, the film revolves around a recent NYC transplant Sequan Greene, played by newcomer Derrick L. Middleton. Sequon, has been sent to wallow in the dirty-dirty after the recent death of his mother.

A compelling story, touching on race relations, incest, drugs, and growing up gay in the south, the film was a nice choice as the Centerpiece; a fine example of dramatic screenwriting intertwined with biting humor. Yet, something in the execution went missing. Whether it was lost in filming or in the editing room, many characters come across as under developed, primarily the lead Sequan.

We’re meant to feel sorry for Sequan for being trapped in this south of the Mason-Dixon hell, but he comes across to the audience as a mildly “special” brat in need of a slap.

Review | ‘Mr. Right’ does little wrong

June 5, 2009 in Film by TPreston | 1 comment

FILM REVIEW // NewFest ‘09 opened on Thursday with Jacqui Morris’ directorial debut, ‘Mr. Right’ — an ensemble piece following the lives of several gay Londoners.

Actor, Benjamin Hart: Is he Mr. Right? Or Mr. Wrong?

Actor, Benjamin Hart: Is he Mr. Right? Or Mr. Wrong?

The film starts off rough with a narration from jilted fag hag, Louise. Her role is mainly to drop sassy one liners much like you’d expect from a gay character in a straight film.

And perhaps that’s the film’s strength. Morris explains she wanted to make a gay movie for the “mainstream.”

Despite the familiar gay characters (Alex is an aspiring actor/waiter, Lawrence is a soap-star, Tom is the self-deprecating artist, and Lars is the narcissistic muscle boy), ‘Mr. Right’ depicts these men with intellect and wit — minus the campiness and lisps you might expect.

Most interesting is the emergence of a new gay character archetype: the single dad, William. We watch him struggle to raise a “normal” 9-year old child, while he fights fears of being alone. William is both an ex-Rugby player and antique collector, which makes for a refreshing and unexpected combination.

The film was made on a shoe string budget, but the quality doesn’t suffer. For example, the soundtrack features The Gossip and Rufus Wainright, courtesy of a very generous Universal Music. And even more impressive is the discovery that the entire movie was shot hand held and on tape (which is cheaper than digital). All this combined with the help of the local community in London’s gay SoHo district (many shops, bars, and clubs donated locations and support) turn what might have been a low budget mess into a solid, rarely-seen portrayal of modern gay life.

It’s no ‘Brokeback Mountain’ (and it doesn’t pretend to be), but Mr. Right is definitely worth checking out. In the least, it’s an excellent cure for a Saturday morning hang-over.