Change is Not Always on the Ballot

EVERYBODY DOES IT | Though the Empire State Pride Agenda endorses neither Bloomberg nor Thompson in the election today (most likely because an endorsement was not sought by either of them), I have no qualms about supporting the Republican/Independent candidate.

Call me predictable but my mind was made up when Thompson responded ‘yes’ to whether Obama had done enough for gays thus far, while Bloomberg said, ‘no.’ Though a true liberal at heart, like my fierce support for Hillary, I follow my gut when determining which candidate really has my best interests in mind. Though I am not well versed enough on either candidate’s voting record or policy positions to credibly argue this case, I think I’m feeling like many of us right now, a little burnt out on the idea of change.

I’ve always loved that line from ‘SATC’ when Carrie so aptly says, “In New York you are always looking for one of three things: a job, an apartment, or a boyfriend.” What most of you already know is that the third has consistently eluded me, but what you may not know is in stark contrast to that I have never been subjected to the horrific search for an apartment in the city since a girlfriend of mine left her room to me when she returned to California the exact time I needed to move out of the Columbia dorms, nor have I gone on more than two interviews before securing my next job. So dating was always my primary challenge until this fall when my roommate and I were contemplating moving, and my two-year anniversary at work was making me antsy to move up in my career, and I was understandably reluctant to exhaust much energy on a relationship.

Now moving into the second week of my new position, and with a renewed lease keeping me off the no-fee apartment listings online, I find myself reluctant to fully reenter the dating world. Changing jobs, like moving, or breaking up, uproots your schedule and routine so drastically it’s been difficult to feel settled just yet enough to share my attention with a romantic interest. Nevertheless, I can’t help but feel like that part of my life is still lacking. As the weather grows steadfastly colder, we find ourselves at home on the couch while the radiator hisses in the corner more often than out at a bar with ‘When Love Takes Over’ blasting through the speakers. The goal is always to have secured a boy to hibernate with, if not by this point than in the coming weeks, but alas, we all know that is often not the case.

So how do we reconcile our constantly changing lives, when some aspects are as predictable as the seasons? Nothing lasts forever in New York, except the idea that nothing stays the same. We are constantly exhausted by the opportunities that each day and night hold for entertainment, distraction, advancement, and destruction, that we sometimes just have to force ourselves to retreat. Internet dating sites make it easy to incorporate the screening of potential boyfriends into our already frenzied online multi-tasking, but then we have to find a way to move them offline before both parties lose interest. You may work at a job or live in an apartment for years, but if you don’t schedule a first date within a couple weeks you’re likely to never meet, and what might have been a relationship that lasted a lifetime, is over before it ever began.

With all this change we endure on a routine basis you’d think we’d be experts at adaptation by now, but the truth is that I’m never sure if it’s taught me patience, perseverance, endurance, or is just slowly making me cynical and disinterested. So maybe it’s not exactly inspired of me to want Bloomberg to secure a third term as mayor, but at least we know what we’re getting with him. No messages of change, as far as I could tell, just a continuation of what his administration has already achieved. Maybe Mike doesn’t really care about the gays, but he does have something that we all would love to have in a boyfriend in New York, very, very deep pockets.

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