Fancy Book Awards | The Nobel Prize

RED CARPET SEASON for the book world is in full swing. Think horn-rimmed eyewear and sensible shoes in place of Balenciaga gowns and vintage Van Cleef. Even amidst economic woes—or even because of said woes—checks and statues alike are being tossed out to a ravenous hoard of writers from the balconies of the world’s finest foundations and trusts. Here’s a brief overview* of winners with clues about why they matter (or don’t).

The Winner: Euro-polyglot, novelist, and “man of the world” Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio. J.M.G published his first novel at 23 and has lived in Panama, Thailand, Mexico, Nigeria, France, Mauritius, and the good ol’ USA.

The Prize: The Nobel Prize for Literature includes a diploma (cubicle art!), a gold medal of Alfie’s profile, 10 million Swedish krona ($1.4 million US) and a lifetime of bragging rights.

The History: Established in the will of 19th century “dynamite tycoon” Alfred Nobel the literature prize has been awarded since 1901. Past winners include nobodies with last names like Morrison, Camus, Faulkner and Hemingway. Incidentally, the Swedish Academy came under fire this year for claiming American lit was too “insular.”

The Future: Getting a Nobel is like having the biggest cock at an all-star porn convention. It’s big. And winners will forever be taught in high-school – their ideas defining what future generations will think about when they think about boring summer reading.

*Next week the Booker, the Gellar, the Pulitzer, et al. Oh. And. Um. You may think you’re above reading books that win fancy awards. But guess what? You aren’t.