I always joke about being on a “low food” diet. The Onion goes further. With beach season in full swing, you can’t let yourself go. Who knew a box of Kleenex has half the caloric intake of a wash cloth? Time to sew our mouths shut again.
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July 1, 2008 at 6:20 pm
gawkerstalker
I eat light. Low-energy bulbs provide the tastiest joules per millisecond
July 1, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Homo-Neurotic
I can’t even imagine eating household items. But frankly, everywhere we go, we’re told that what we eat is killing us. We may as well eat telephones and baseballs.
July 5, 2008 at 11:21 am
SML
Where did they find that actress?! Omg
July 6, 2008 at 10:47 pm
B.B. Nichols
Have you seen the subway ads for Slim Shots???
https://www.slimshots.com
July 8, 2008 at 9:02 pm
mark Lovato
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