Day 4 of the Mark Jacobs Diet isn’t going so well (frowny face)

After reading Lucy Kaylin’s exhaustive totally not PR motivated reporting on the “messiah and mess,” Mark Jacobs, I decided to follow the monastic diet as Lucy described it. I didn’t bother with consulting a nutritionist, a doctor, or even Googling the nutritionist mentioned in the article to find out if this Lindsay Duncan person is legit. Meh! I ran with it. Here’s what we know:

A nutritionist, Lindsey Duncan, recommended a monastic diet—no flour, dairy, sugar, or caffeine—as well as exercise. Jacobs was so enamored of the results he made the regimen his religion.

Also, MJ works out at David Barton for 2 hours a day (when he’s in NYC). There will be none of that on my diet. The article makes no mention of how drugs, alcohol or smoking plays into the diet — and we all know about the drug rumors.

According to “business partner” Robert Duffy, however, Mark “still smokes five packs of cigarettes with all that healthy food.” Ew…5 Packs!! That’s gross, but at least that means I don’t have to quit (this week).

We also know that MJ says he’s not doing drugs. He told OUT last Fall:

You’re going to get a bunch of blogs saying “He must be on meth in order to be that skinny compared to 10 months ago,” but in fact I’m eating a totally organic diet, which has no flour, no sugar, no dairy, and no caffeine, and I lost weight because of that diet and because of a two and a half hour exercise regimen seven days a week.

Armed with all of this nutriously unsound information I forged ahead with my diet plans.

Day 1. This is’t so bad. Eggs, beans, and spinach for breakfast (at 1pm), and then a sensible veggie clad-salad from Moaz at Union Sq for dinner (at 8pm). In between, a decaf coffee with soy milk. No cigarettes this day. Yay! Success is mine.

Day two was less successful. Again, eggs, beans, avocado, and greens for breakfast. No tea. No coffee. But I was super hung over, so I kept reaching out for apples, and oranges, and cashews — anything. I had a sliver of cheese, three grapes, and a glass of wine for dinner (Oops! No dairy, doh!). As I walked home, I was tempted by the smells of Amore’s pizza on 14th St, but I stayed firm and smoked a cigarette instead. Is that MJ eating ice cream with Jason Peston above? Hey!! No fair.

Day three was a nightmare. I woke up late, so I had a decaf soy coffee for breakfast at 2pm. Big mistake. By 5pm I had no problem with digging into the bowl of chips and salsa at the local burrito bar. So one giant chix burrito, chips, salsa, and 7 margaritas later, I was officially off the wagon. So, since I was already on a break from the diet, I got home and scarffed down my roommate’s cous cous and sweet potatoes. (Bad!)

Day 4… Is to be continued. Looks like I could actually do this. The drinking doesn’t help.

Lucy says Mark eats Salmon and supplements for lunch. (Gag). I may have to pass on the MJ diet for now, and continue my hunt for the magic potion that will get trim in less than two months, without my having to do any real work. Stayed tuned.

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