New book claims Clark Gable was a self-hating ‘mo with a bloody schlong (yawn)

At least the cover is pretty.

In his “trashy biography,” Clark Gable: Tormented Star, David Bret tells us Gable was a ‘mo (or at least bisexual). Sound the alarm for another biography no one is ever going to read. Don’t believe me? Just glance at these excerpts from the scathing review in the Sunday Book Review. (I mean, how often do you call something scathing? — Exactly my point.)

On the author’s fact-checking:

How does Bret, the author of numerous celebrity biographies, know so much about Hollywood stars’ sex lives? Judging by this new book’s convoluted wording, he really doesn’t.

On the book’s contradictions:

And yet Bret undermines his own arguments. Why would Gable have been “tormented” by his bisexual past if Hollywood were as overrun by gay stars as the book implies?

On the book’s sordid style:

David Bret’s angle on Clark Gable is this: Gable was “gay for pay” and “rough trade,” and he enjoyed having sex “for bucks.” In addition, he “would sometimes scrub his penis until it bled” and used a device to prolong erections.

[The book] teems with innuendo and exclamation points, but still presents a thoroughly joyless view of old Hollywood.

Ironically, Gable’s final screen performance was in 1961 film The Misfits, where he played alongside Marilyn Monroe in the role of (get this) Gay Langland. How’s that for a foreshadowing? My advice, rent The Misfits this weekend and call it a day.

• Frankly, My Dear …{Sunday Times Book Review}

Above scenes from The Misfits used without permission.

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